A traumatic experience of men, who loose economic power in the family, a challenge to pastoral care

Abstract

For decades, men in South Africa and many African countries have enjoyed the role of being the main providers and protectors of the family. The concept, “head of the family” implied a lot in terms of playing a leading role in the family. A man literarily became the main provider of the family while the woman was the family maker, i.e. looked after the family. Since the new dispensation in South Africa, the economic situation of women has improved tremendously. The campaign for the equality through the Gender Equality process and the Feminine Theology has seen many women coming out of the oppression of economy and climbing the ladders of prosperity and better live. On the hand, the policy of gender equality seems to have negative effects on the lives of men who had the privilege of having better salaries and enjoying the economic authority and being the major breadwinners in the family. Before this, many women’s salaries were just an augmentation of the husband’s salary and most of the financial transactions in the family were done in the name of the husband. Women could not buy on credit without the authorization of the husbands. With the new dispensation, all those barriers have been removed and women have been empowered to participate in the financial transactions without getting authorizations of their spouses. Once men lose their jobs or discover that their wives are earning far more than they do, they get depressed and their lives deteriorate hopelessly. They become alcoholics and sometimes take their own lives or decide to wipe out the whole family. This situation does not only confine itself to married couples, but to single men as well, especially the young ones. Many young women have the opportunity of going through tertiary education and are therefore earning better salaries and can afford to buy houses and cars independently from male counterparts. They do not need the security and comfort of men and can live on their own. It is because of the escalation of the phenomenon of traumatised men that the researcher was challenged to want to study it further, to see how prevalent it is and work with men to make them aware of it and to find ways of accepting it as a reality. The researcher further worked on a strategy to develop a counselling model or strategies for the Church to help the affected men and to prepare those who have not yet been involved to be ready.