That’s our code : a feminine artistic encoding of memories of the South African Defence Force between 1977 and 1989 and hegemonic masculinity in white South African men

Abstract

This study explores memory and narrative surrounding experiences of conscription into the South African Defence Force (SADF) during the 1970s and 80s. This decade experienced the climax and end of several conflicts grouped under the collectively remembered ‘Border War’. The conscription of white South African men into the military is understood by many veterans as a coming-of-age ritual and an induction into manhood. When the National Party conceded in 1994, many soldiers felt betrayed by the government they risked their lives to protect. Many of these soldiers are silent about their experiences and this study provided an opportunity for participating veterans to recount experiences of the former South African Defence Force (SADF), specifically surrounding the creation of masculinity and the sharing of pain and trauma. I have combined two binary and gendered codes, Morse code and knitting, to encode narratives shared with me by participating veterans, thereby capturing memories from a group who feel they are forgotten. In addition, I use stitching to investigate my relationship to the SADF and trauma, using a spiral motif to explore the cathartic release of sharing stories and the great difficulty in sharing vulnerability and pain.