Counselling of couples before Bogadi : a pastoral challenge

Abstract

Africans believe Bogadi is their strong value to start a marriage, but they are struggling to seek its continuation in the future generation. Tradition informs couples to go through the process to endorse their marriage and be accepted as a married person by the family and community. However, its relevance is fading away in the present society, because it is struggling to accept and expose the pain that is inflicted on couples that are inside the system. The initial purpose of Bogadi is to extend friendship and build a relationship with both the families and the community. The process initially uses cattle or money, as payment. However, not everyone owns cattle, so money is used as an option to pay Bogadi. Families of the bride ask a huge amount of money for Bogadi which results in couples borrowing money to fulfil the process and this creates a strain on the relationship and makes the whole process look commercialised. Other families go as far as using their children’s education to demand huge amounts of money. This leads to some couples experiencing struggles that later lead to Gender Based Violence, divorce, and sometimes death. This research unpacked the beliefs, myths, and all implications and experiences of Bogadi using a qualitative approach to try and understand the conceptions and misconceptions that are in the society on Bogadi and add to the existing literature to guide the church community on the issue of Bogadi. The research will again empower clergy to create a space and bring awareness to those who are affected by this struggle and journey with them towards healing and wholeness. The research will help to create therapeutic Pastoral care that can be used to prepare couple before they commit with process of Bogadi.