Teaching, research, and everything in between : an autoethnographic account of academic identity

Abstract

This analytic autoethnography offers a critical and personal reflection on two decades (2005–2025) of academic life at a South African university. Framed within South Africa's shifting higher education landscape, the study explores academic identity formation through eight thematic lenses: from early experiences as an unprepared lecturer to the challenges and rewards of research, postgraduate supervision, pedagogic innovation, academic citizenship, and institutional service. Despite the increasing demand for excellence across teaching, research and service, the narrative reveals a persistent lack of formal preparation and mentoring for new academics, highlighting a systemic oversight in academic development. However, alongside these structural challenges, the account affirms the deeply fulfilling nature of academic work when driven by curiosity, care and purpose. Alternating between cycles of self-doubt and confidence, fatigue and renewal, the role of the lecturer-researcher emerges as both intellectually rigorous and emotionally resonant. By drawing on the author's lived experience, supported by theoretical frameworks on professional development, emotional labour, and transformative learning, the article contributes to a growing body of scholarship that rehumanises academic life. It calls for greater institutional recognition of academic work's emotional and relational dimensions while affirming the value of narrative inquiry in understanding and sustaining academic passion.