"I speak as only half of myself" – an analysis of childhood trauma and resilience in The Yearning by Mohale Mashigo

Abstract

One of the central questions that inspired the creative component of my M.A. in Creative Writing is whether or not a person who experienced sexual violence as a child is able to heal from the trauma. In popular discourse, the word ‘trauma’ is understood as “an event that sufficiently disturbs us” (Colvin, 2008, 223) and produces a “‘disorder in time’ in which the traumatic past continues to invade the post-traumatic present” (Colvin, 2008, 224). In order to understand and move past the events of one’s childhood, trauma therapy thus aims for “the trauma to be reinserted into its proper place in the day-to-day framework that was torn apart by the traumatic secret” (Colvin, 2008, 224). However, what if there was no time before the trauma for it to be reinserted? What if one looks inside and sees that ‘normal life’ has always been one of abuse? Whereto for the traumatised child and wounded adult? To explore this question further, this mini-dissertation examines childhood trauma and resilience in Mohale Mashigo’s 2017 debut novel, The Yearning. It draws on trauma theory as well as critiques thereof to explore how Mashigo writes about childhood trauma within a South African context. The study explores the notion of insidious trauma as it pervades South African society. It interrogates the possibility of healing from child abuse without transformation of the social conditions that enable the abuse. Finally, the mini-dissertation concludes with a meditation on the role of storytelling in shaping the South African moral imagination. In accompaniment to this dissertation is my own novel, Who looks inside, which explores the inner world of a protagonist who was sexually abused as a child. As a result of the abuse, she hides certain aspects of herself away in order to survive. However, as in The Yearning, her mental health deteriorates when she cannot let go of the coping mechanisms that helped her survive her childhood but no longer serve her in adulthood. Keywords Trauma, childhood trauma, Mohale Mashigo, The Yearning, post-traumatic growth, gender-based violence, storytelling, South African moral imagination, sexual violence, Alice Miller