The process of mourning and remarrying for widowers in the Swazi culture : a pastoral challenge

Abstract

This study is concerned about Swazi widowers who rush and remarry before mourning their spouses because of Swazi culture and external pressures such as conjugal rights and domestic chores. The Royalised version of Patriarchy (RvP) has a major influence on Swazi men as they are recalled at any time for Royal duties. This has reduced the number of days for mourning their spouses in the name of culture and submission to authority because it comes with power and prestige. Swaziland’s patriarchal influence emanating from the ‘Throne’ has major impacts on how widowers have been conducting themselves in Swaziland, as they imitate the Man on the Throne (MoT) who is a polygamist, and has many shoulders to cry on, when bereaved as opposed to monogamist Swazi men, who find solace by rushing to remarry. The multiple partners by the MoT set a standard for other Swazi men who then engage in multiple sexual activities, spreading sexually transmitted diseases, of which in most cases it is the female partners who are easily affected. Thus they die early causing the monogamous men to remarry. This is not a challenge with the MoT because he has many shoulders to cry on as opposed to ordinary Swazi men. Swazi men have not been exposed to domestic work, thus they rush and remarry because they want to ease the burden as opposed to marrying for love and commitment, a key element in marriage. As a result they end up being emotionally and psychologically drained, which might lead others to die in the process (How?). On the other hand Ministers of the Gospel, who have to pastorally care for the widowers are often not equipped, thus they end up not knowing how to pastorally care for the survivors of death, in this case the widowers. The purpose of this research is to assist the Ministers of the Gospel to be able to journey with their members through the mourning period. It is to equip the widowers as they transit to the next marriage. Hence, a model directed by Practical theological insights has been created to suit the Swazi context.