BDSM (bondage, discipline/dominance, submission/sadism and masochism) has recently gained greater visibility in dominant discourses around sexuality. However, these depictions are often constructed in rigid ways to typically exclude experiences of sexual intimacy. Despite this apparent exclusion, constructions of subspace (an altered mental state induced through BDSM encounters) on online blogs intrigued me to consider it as an alternative to widely accepted notions of sexual intimacy. Using a poststructuralist theoretical framework, I conducted an online ethnographic study in which I explored the varied ways in which self-identified South African BDSM individuals construct meaning around sexual intimacy. Through a Foucauldian discourse analysis, I consider how constructions of intimacy in the BDSM community might have been silenced through exclusionary definitions in dominant discourses. I identified four discourses in the text: A discourse of romantic vulnerability, a discourse of knowledge, a discourse of difference/sameness and a discourse of role differentiation. The findings suggest that BDSM practitioners, in constructing meaning around intimacy, at times comply with dominant discourses and at other times subvert normative ideas around sexuality, gender and sexual intimacy. I conclude with implications for gender and sexuality studies as well as the discipline of psychology in its engagement with BDSM identities and practices.