Daughters in-law in black families a pastoral care perspective

Abstract

This study is a research and the investigation in order to find out why young daughters in-laws in the Black Families are badly treated. The researcher tried to find out whether there was any writer who had done any work on this study in order to ascertain some facts form the olden way of treating daughters in-law. The author found out that there was no work concerning the relationship of daughters in-law and their mothers in-law. Most of the work in this study was done in China, India, Philippines and Western Countries. The author took the initiative to interview young women and the old women in order to dig out the problem of abusive relationship between them. Two models were used in this study in order to find the healing process for both parties. The Methodology of Shepherding was used in order to find method of journeying with abused daughters in-law. The model Positive Deconstruction was used in order to help people to replace what is not good with something better. The objective of the study is to empower and raise awareness of the cultural system which continuously oppress women. The abusive relationship leads to the separation of extended families. The aim of the study is to construct a good relationship between the daughters in-law and their in-laws. The study revealed that mothers in-law abusive attitude is propelled by the love of their sons. They are so attached to their sons in such a way that they do not trust another woman in their sons’ lives. The study found out that the bond of the son and mother is caused by genetic impact. The love between these people is the umbilical cord which does not separate them. The relationship between them would become healthy if the love for each other become the man needs both women in his life. The study revealed again that if the mother in-law was abused by her mother in-law it was likely that she would abuse the daughter in-law. This act is caused by the low self esteem she carried and experienced in her abusive relationship.