Consolation as a unique outcome within a pastoral-narrative approach to grief
The pastoral counselling of those who grieve poses new challenges to pastoral care. Because of the
shift away from a modernist paradigm, the grief process is now seen as an open-ended process,
rather than a closed process that focuses on the mastering of the so-called tasks of mourning, and
the avoidance of grief pathology. Recent grief theory suggests that the grief process cannot reach
a point of closure. Grief counselling should therefore rather embark on a process of generating
new meaning to the problem-saturated discourses surrounding death and loss. Narrative therapy
is suggested as a means of grief counselling, as it makes use of the story analogy, which supports
the notion of an open end to the grief process. In this study, the narrative is explored within the
framework of Practical Theology. Both the master story of God and the grief-saturated stories of
people are combined in a pastoral approach that envisages consolation as the unique outcome of
the therapeutic process. Consolation is regarded as one of the secondary narratives in the greater
narrative of God, as well as in the reformed theological vocabulary. It is suggested that a pastoralnarrative
approach to grief will generate the consolation needed by the grief-stricken on their
lifelong journey of coming to terms with their loss.
Die pastorale begeleiding van persone met rousmart ná ‘n naasbestaande se dood stel tans nuwe
uitdagings aan die pastor. Dié toedrag van sake is grootliks toe te skryf aan die huidige wegbeweeg
van die modernistiese denkraamwerke wat sedert Freud se routeorie van die vroeë 1900’s ons denke
oor rousmart oorheers het.
Benaderings vanuit ‘n modernistiese raamwerk het die pastor veral in die rol van ‘n, beoordelaar van die
sogenaamde rouproses geplaas. Die hulpverlener moes toesien dat die rouproses ‘suksesvol’ afgehandel
word. Dít sou wees wanneer treurende persone weer begin energie belê in nuwe verhoudings en ideale
(Kübler-Ross 1969; Spiegel 1977), of as naasbestaandes nie meer patologiese rou toon nie. Patologiese rou
word beskou as byvoorbeeld die volgehoue ontkenning van die verlies, en die uiteindelike verwerping
van hulp (Smith & Dreyer 2000:279). Indien hierdie uitkomste na die oordeel van die pastor bereik is,
sou die rouproses as afgehandel beskou kon word.
Tans gaan daar egter stemme op wat meen dat die rouproses ‘n oop einde moet hê, aangesien rousmart
nooit werklik as afgehandel beskou kan word nie (Kübler-Ross & Kessler 2005:158). ‘n Nuwe paradigma
vir die begrip van rou is derhalwe aan die ontwikkel, waarbinne die korrekte hantering van rou gesoek
word in die rekonstruksie van sin en betekenis in die lewens van mense nadat hulle ‘n naasbestaande
verloor het. Hierdie proses van betekenisskepping (Nadeau 1998:14), eerder as die blote kliniese
nakoming van ‘routake’, neem nou ‘n kernplek in die hantering van rou in.
