Infedility in Africa clergy families : a pastoral care approach

Abstract

Infidelity of clergy has been defined as a culture, by those who believe in polygamous marriage. Women are often controlled by men and very few societies exhibit an equalitarian relationship. One paramount way in which men control women is through sex and sexual power. Infidelity is abuse because the characteristics of the unfaithful are like those of a battered and the symptoms of the victim are like those of the battered. Sitting in on battered women’s group, I heard the same things-women wanting to go back; full of anger and rage, saying they’d rather be beaten than wonder where their partner was sleeping at night. The researcher is ministering among Pondo and Bhaca people who are no strangers to this oppressing practice. Few marriages in these days last beyond few years, because infidelity has become such an accepted alternative way of living and working out marital problems. The problem disturbed author’s ministry as a junior minister. As result I am researching this problem so as to come out with a theory that will help to address this issue. Clergy spouses approach the act of infidelity very painful, they ended up traumatizing their own spouses, children and their ministry. One of my favourite clergy in Pondo even resigned his pastorate about a year ago due to adultery and fathering a child outside of his marriage. All of these high profile ministers have been involved in some form of infidelity. But still the powerful words from Paul in 1 Corinthians 10:13 “no temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man, but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it”. Today, many churches invite unfaithful itinerant clergies to preach to their congregations unaware of the spiritual poison they are injecting directly into the life blood of their congregations and the Christian community. No wonder many churches are so full of infidelity, dishonesty and immorality of the worst kind. Clergy spouses decided to stay in their marriage are taught forgiveness, so that they can move away from their traumatic experience.